After waiting outside the K-Mart doors at 6:00 am on Black Friday, surrounded by a crowd of determined shoppers, the moment came and they unlocked the doors. We all pushed through the doors to sprint to the item we had sacrificed precious sleep to obtain. Running to the electronics department to get that $110 VHS player for $30, my heart beat rapidly hoping I would be fortunate enough to be one of the lucky recipients. As I approached electronics there they were, in the aisle, a neat square of numerous VHS players ripe for the picking. My heart soared as I grabbed one and clutched it to my chest, victorious in my quest. I looked through the store for more bargains but found nothing that enticed me so I made my way to the checkout. Standing in line with the person behind me pushing her cart into my ankles I thought, "have I lost my mind"? Christmas morning I got my answer when I watched my daughter's face as she opened the gift she had wanted most.
I was the manager of a fabric and crafts store for 10 years when the news came - they were closing my store. It was a large national chain who felt the small, hometown stores no longer were of any value to them any more. My heart broke when the day came to lock the doors one last time. I enjoyed unemployment for about 2 months when it became evident I needed to find a new job. The job market at that time was in the toilet but I managed to secure a position as a barista at a new coffee shop in our town. It was only part time but at least I would be out with people again and feeling useful. We had to go through 2 weeks of training before the store opened, and there I sat with my training manual in front of me anxious to learn how to make all of those coveted beverages. I took a moment and looked around the room at my co-workers, every one either in high school or college, and at the age of 57 I thought, "have I lost my mind"? Regardless, I stuck with it and made it to the actual store opening and beyond. The fun I had with these young people and their surprise at how I had kept up with the times and actually knew what an RPG game was were some of the best work days I had ever experienced.
My youngest daughter and I have always had a difficult time dealing with each other. In retrospect I have come to realize a lot of our trouble came from our being so much alike. She became pregnant and I was excited to become a new grandma. She wasn't married and when the time came for the baby's arrival we stood at her bed with her current boyfriend holding her hand and the baby's father stood at the foot. Suddenly, as is typical with babies, things became complicated and she had to have a C-section. We all left the room as the nurse discussed the matter with my daughter. Upon leaving the room the nurse called me to talk. Deeanna had asked that I be the one to go into the delivery room with her. Me - the one who has a history of fainting in the hospital every time a loved one went through surgery. I would make it in the waiting room just fine, but when I would go to their rooms after they came out of recovery I would pass out cold and spend the next 4 hours in their emergency room. But she was my daughter, I had to do this. As I was scrubbing and the nurse helped me with my robe and booties I thought "have I lost my mind"? I entered the operating room and grabbed a stool and began stroking her forehead as she got sick over and over during the surgery. Suddenly I looked up and there she was, my precious granddaughter, in the hands of the surgeon handing her over to the nurse to clean and measure and weigh. I was instantly and hopelessly in love with that precious bundle of joy. After calming my daughter as they closed her up and I got a chance to hold my granddaughter, I reluctantly left the operating room so dad could hold his little girl. I had made it! No trips to the ER for me this time!
Yes, there have been many more of those "Lost My Mind" moments in my life, and it has become evident to me that I was never more blessed than in those moments I had questioned if I had lost my mind.